4 – Motivation to change

mediocrity is easy to achieve
“If you limit your choices only to what seems possible or reasonable, you disconnect yourself from what you truly want, and all that is left is a compromise.” Robert Fitz
Change is uncomfortable.
As you embark on any learning and growth journey we will be asking you to use tools and techniques that you are unfamiliar with. Sometimes, these techniques make you feel uncomfortable, because they are new and it ‘feels' different. We ask that you persevere with using the techniques – this is not a quick fix. Just as you don’t expect to visit the gym once and come out with the body of an Adonis – change takes work. Some of this ‘work' may feel uncomfortable for a while.
Let’s try a real simple change that is uncomfortable.
  • As you sit there, please cross your arms.
  • Now, as you sit there with your arms crossed, you are relaxed and at ease.
  • Now, swap your arm crossing to the opposite way. If you normally cross your arms left over right, change it to right over left. Tuck the other hand in…
  • So. Comfortable?
  • You still have your arms crossed, yet it feels a little uncomfortable doesn't it.
  • How many times would you have to deliberately change the way you cross your arms untill this too is comfortable? 5, 10, 20, 30 times?
  • Now, consider that some of the tools and techniques that we will be introducing to you, may feel a little uncomfortable to begin with. But just like your arm crossing, with perseverance and repeated use, these new ways of behaving for you will become comfortable.
Remember, change occurs over time, and unlearning is often resisted, especially deeply rooted habits, and stress causes us to revert to preference.
It will help you greatly to find your own motivation to change. The reason and pay off that will make the effort worthwhile.
Motivation is a fruit
This is a critical understanding that few people realise. Motivation is the fruit of actions towards a goal that satisfy a personal value. We feel motivated after the fact. However, we can generate the feeling of motivation by linking the resources we shall be using (time, effort, money, skills, knowledge) to the achievement of a specific outcome and linking this to the anticipated personal value that the achievement of this outcome will bring.
Motivation triangle
Through coaching you are embarking on a journey of change. Change in your mindset, your attitude, your perceptions and or your behaviours.
  • The goal is the specific change you want to achieve
  • The resources are things like your time and effort, and maybe other costs. For example in changing your attitude about another person – you will lose the previous relationship and gain a different relationship with that individual.
  • Values are what's important for you. This could be as simple as feeling successful because you've chosen to make a change and done what was necessary. It may be something longer term, such as a new position or the feeling of accomplishment.
The feeling of motivation to change comes from linking these three in your mind.
We're going to use a template here to guide you through this. If this is your first time going through this book, start with something simple but important. You've started reading this for a good reason. There's something that you believe will bring benefit to you. So we'll start with completing this book as the outcome we want.
Step 1 – Establish the unwanted behaviour
  • Now, how much time each week have you been spending on your personal development?
  • How much time are you going to spend from now until you complete this book? (Hint, this number of hours should be higher, yet still reasonable.)
  • Thus the Unwanted behaviour is your ‘old' commitment in time (and effort) to personal development.
  • Write this down specifically, with numbers and details, for yourself in the template.
Step 2 – Now, lets establish a broad overview of your long, medium and short-term goals.
  • Your short-term goal is to complete this book.
    • What time frame are you putting on this? 3 weeks, 6, 12?
  • What do you want to achieve in your career or business in the medium term?
    • What's the time frame for this ‘medium term' for you?
  • What about your long-term goal for your career or business, say 5 to 10 years from now?
Write down your answers in the template
Step 3 – Why are these goals important for you?
  • Read your long-term goal out loud and ask yourself “What is the purpose of achieving this long-term goal for me?”
  • What other purpose do I have for achieving this goal?
  • And, what other purpose do I have for achieving this goal?
Write down your answers in the values column.
Now repeat this for your medium term goal.
Lastly, your short-term goal of completing this book.
  • What is the purpose, for you, that you complete this book within the time you specified?
  • And what other purpose do you have for completing this book?
  • And what other purpose do you have for completing this book?
Write down all your answers in the values column.
Discover at least 3 different values from yourself. Value1, Value2, Value3,
Now answer the following question?

“So when you no longer unwanted behaviour you will be more/have more etc value1, value2, value3… is that so?”

Link changing the unwanted behaviour to the values, for example:
So, when you no longer procrastinate you will be more successful, have more time with your family and be able to earn more money, is that so?
Now, let's find out what you do want instead of your unwanted behaviour:
“As you do not want this unwanted behaviour, what is that you do want that is not the unwanted behaviour?”

Because I know that you can follow instructions, you now have a feeling that is very like motivation. Share your completed template with someone who cares about you. This will add another motivation for you because then you will also be accountable (and I already know that you value being thought of as responsible and accountable for your own life.)

Use the Generating Motivation to Change Template

Download it here