You should by now, have read the Top 10 Reasons You Don't Need Coaching?
If by any chance you haven't read that. Can I suggest you do so? It will help you make more sense of the next bit.
In summary, the 10 Reasons are:
- #10 – It's too expensive
- #9 – I'm not senior enough
- #8 – I'm good enough (aka, I don't have performance problems)
- #7 – The company should sponsor your coaching
- #6 – My boss is the one who needs coaching
- #5 – I can't change
- #4 – I don't like to talk about it
- #3 – Coaches are all about soft, fluffy feelings
- #2 – If people know I'm being coached, they'll think I'm weak
- #1 – I'm too busy
As you remind yourself of the reasons. You probably have some niggling doubts about one or two of them.
Whichever these are. Keep these in mind as we continue.
A couple of years ago I noticed that, in spite of the thousands of books about coaching and self-development in the bookshops and on Amazon. Did you know that there are none for being a coachee? None for the client, or protege or mentee?
Lots for coaches and leaders and managers. But no-one writing about the role of the person being developed.
Well, there is one now. And I wrote it. I called it “What's Better Today? – How to Grow and Learn into the Leader You Can Be”.
In fact, there's a few more now, but of course, mine is by far the best one 😉
This is surprising, because in the coaching (mentoring or whatever name it gets called) relationship, the most important role is that of the person being coached. After all, you do all the work.
Seriously, you do. That is one of the reasons that coaching is the greatest job on the planet. You pay us for the privilege of you doing all the work whilst we have fun doing what we love to do.
So how about the free gift already?
- We're going to start with the first chapter – Do I need a Coach?
There's a quick assessment you can do in there to help you find out if you are ready for coaching. That should help you regarding any investment in #10, money and #1, time.
I have put all the templates on Evernote by the way. If you don't have an Evernote account, then sign up for one for free. Save the templates to your own account. Complete them and you keep a record for yourself. This way, you are not sharing your responses with me. You are welcome to, if you would like some quick feedback, but I'm not tracking you or going to be following up with anything you do with the templates… unless you ask me to do so.
- In Chapter 2 we'll look at the differences and similarities between coaching, mentoring, counselling, training and managing. It may be that your personal development and the way you like to learn is best served by a counselor, rather than a coach. This will help you identify the right people to work with, if that's the way you choose to go forward. If #4 or #3 concern you – this will help.
- Chapter 3 is a quick run-down of what coaching really is. So if you are unsure, this is for you.
- In Chapter 4, we'll look at change and your own motivation to change. Again, I have a short assessment in Evernote to help you identify if you are sufficiently motivated to change yourself. If you are, fantastic. If you're not… then you may be wasting your time with a coach. Great for those of you questions with #9 or #8.
- In Chapter 5, we'll consider how yo go about choosing a suitable coach to work with. This one, by the way is not in Evernote because it's a calculation based on your choices. Evernote is great but it doesn't do calculations. And this I do see. This assessment will help you identify the approach to coaching that would work best for you. I have already mentioned that I use a structured approach, so if you are better with an unstructured approach, you and I probably wont get on too well. But there are plenty of coaches who are more ad-hoc in their style and you'll be equipped to ask the right questions.
- In Chapter 6, we'll look at how you build rapport with your coach. This aspect is essential, and often sadly neglected. The skills you'll develop with the template in this chapter will help you build rapport with anyone, so it will benefit all of your life and relationships. (If #6 came to mind, “My boss is the one who needs coaching”, you'll enjoy using this).
- Chapter 7, we'll address a mindset that could be holding you back from change. Especially critical if Reason #5 (“I can't change”) was a question for you.
- Chapter 8, is all about receiving feedback. Perhaps a more important skill to develop than giving feedback. Excellent for #3 and #6
- Chapter 9, we'll look at clarifying roles. This should put #3 and #4 to bed.
- Chapter 10, is about defining objectives for your development. If anything is still concerning you by now, then this is where you decide what is, and what isn't open for discussion. I'll introduce you to the importance of metrics. You want to measure the effectiveness of your coaching and your return on investment. Plus, you get to see your own progress as you develop yourself. This will help you be clear about your investment in #1 Time and #10. money. It will also help you a great deal with influencing your company to sponsor your development (#7). What you learned in Chapters 5 and 6 will help you with this too.
- Chapter 11 is “Tall Poppy Syndrome” and it's all about the #2 reason. It's a real reason that my non-clients tell me. But here's the reality: they are so caught up with themselves that they haven't got time to be concerned about you. It's more likely that they are actually jealous of you choosing to develop yourself, and like Madras Crabs, would rather pull you down than have you succeed. It's your life and you've already taken a big step towards overcoming any of their perceived weakness anyway.
If you signed up for the email series, I'll be sending you the links each week. If you kindly shared on Facebook or Twitter, well, you'll need to remind yourself.
If you want to go through it all now, by all means, please do. The menu on the right sidebar will take you there.
I welcome your feedback. I'd love to know if this is helpful for you. And if anything bugs you, please let us know. You'll find a link at the bottom of every page to drop us a line about anything that bugs you.