OK, so I need to start off apologizing to all the coaches out there who are desperately trying to persuade you that their coaching is the be all and end all. That you have to get a coach to enjoy true happiness and achieve success.
I’m sorry, but there really are good reasons that people do not need coaching.
Would you rather the PDF?
Here’s the top 10 I hear from clients, in reverse order and coming in at number 10, but still a biggie:
#10 – It's too expensive
I know, I too was a little shocked that this wasn't further up the list. An average coaching engagement costs around $100-250 an hour, and most coaches want you to buy at least an hour a week. A good coach will cost you $400-900 and up per hour, and the guru coaches, a lot more. A coach for a senior leader in an organization will charge upwards of $15,000 a year for their services, and that's probably by telephone. So, coaching, even a ‘cheap' coach, can become expensive. In fact, if the hourly rate is really low (I know of some coaches who charge less than $50 an hour), you want to be even more careful. Hiring a decent coach, with qualifications (important but not always essential) and experience (vital) will cost money, and a fair amount at that. Taking on a coach often means that you will need to cut back in other areas of your expenditure. Perhaps that's delaying the purchase of a new car. Or taking your vacation a little closer to home this year. Not buying a couple of new outfits. Taking a sandwich from home each day instead of buying one of those delicious lunch baguettes at your favourite coffee shop. And who wants to do that? How will you know that you are getting good value? Splurging on yourself is a hard-earned reward, and you shouldn't be compromising your lifestyle to enjoy a better future. Live now, pay later is a motto to live by. But money isn't everything. And even when you are prepared to spend your hard-earned money on getting a coach, there's the simple question about your current position. And, if I can be so bold. If you don't invest your hard-earned money in your development, there's a very high chance that you won't follow through.
- Coaching is expensive, so make sure that you get a good Return on your Investment.
- And you want a Guarantee for your coaching.
- You want value for money.
So how do you work out your return, your value gained for the money you shell out? You need useful Metrics for your coaching. Read this Chapter on “How to ensure your Coaching ROI“.
#9 – I’m not senior enough
Business and personal coaching is for more senior people. Leaders in business.
In many organizations, coaching is reserved for the senior leadership or the so-called “high potentials”.
So, you should be getting your company assigned coach to help you learn how to lead, once you get promoted to a senior leadership role. There is the minor detail that it’s a little late to prepare to be a leader when you’ve been promoted, but you’ll muddle through. And yes, they should recognize that coaching for you would be greatly beneficial for the company… but hey haven’t recognized that yet.
On the other hand, if it’s not that coaching is for the good people, rather for those that are weak… there’s the #8 reason…
Do you actually need a coach then?” open=”false”]Many organisations consider coaching to be reserved for the upper echelons. And sadly, few have a proper coaching or mentoring culture to support you and your development.
So would coaching actually be the best option for you? Read this chapter from my book and see if this is your best course of action now.
And if not coaching, perhaps some other form of development. But what's the difference?
Read this chapter and find out if something other than coaching might be better for you.[/vc_toggle][/vc_column][/vc_row][vc_row][vc_column width=”1/1″][vc_column_text]
#7 – The company should sponsor your coaching
Why should you be paying from your own pocket when all the benefit of your increased performance, goes to the company?
It would be nice if your boss showed you their genuine appreciation for your efforts, and if coaching is right for you, then one way they could show this is to sponsor your coaching.
Absolutely. But then, perhaps you’re not “senior enough”, or not one of the identified “high potentials”. Or perhaps your company doesn’t think coaching is beneficial to their bottom line.
It is probably right that your company should pay for your coaching. But they get a little scared that once coached, you’ll get poached by the competitor and hence, waste all that development expense.
Incidentally, I charge a lot more for coaching when the company is paying. Why? Because when you don’t personally invest in it, there’s a much higher chance you won’t follow through as enthusiastically. That means more chasing and more of my time spent to keep you progressing. Plus, the company usually expects me to come to your office… more time… more expense.
Perhaps then it’s your boss who really needs the coaching…
[/vc_column_text][vc_toggle title=”Can your manager coach you?” open=”false”]Your organisation may not have a formal coaching or mentoring programme in place. And your manager may, or may not, be able to coach you. It is helpful for you to understand the difference between being a coach and being a manager.
Read this chapter and discuss the possibilities with your own manager.[/vc_toggle][/vc_column][/vc_row][vc_row][vc_column width=”1/3″][vc_column_text]
#8 – I’m good enough (aka, I don’t have performance problems)
Coaching in many organizations is for people who have problems. A coach is often called in to help ‘fix’ the person in some way.
And if you don’t have problems, why on earth would you need a coach?
You've been doing your job for years and get things done. Your boss has no complaints. Your performance review is glowing. In fact, you are one of the better managers in the company.
But if you should be considering coaching, shouldn't your company be paying for it?
[/vc_column_text][vc_toggle title=”Are you sure about that?” open=”false”]Change is the only constant. And what got you where you are today, won;t get you where you want to go tomorrow.
Competition is fierce and there is no such thing as a ‘permanent' job.
Read this chapter and find out if you are motivated to change.[/vc_toggle][/vc_column][/vc_row][vc_row][vc_column width=”1/1″][vc_column_text]
#6 – My boss is the one who needs coaching
You know that you could do a much better job than your boss. As a leader they are pretty ineffective and really do need coaching.
The thing is, it’s not actually your job to “fix” your leader. I mean, how many times have you tried already? Frustrating yes?
So, don’t try to “fix” your leader. Your job is to add value to them. Take some of their burden, add to their strengths and after a while, they’ll allow you to compensate for their weaknesses.
If the leader won’t change. Change your attitude or your work address. But perhaps you can’t…
[/vc_column_text][vc_toggle title=”Or do you need to add value to your boss?” open=”false”]I hear this a lot. Almost every workshop I run and many of my prospective clients quickly tell me that “my boss should be doing this”.
It's probably true.
Two things you can do then:
- Share this page with them and let them decide for themselves.
- Read this chapter on building rapport – it's written to help you build rapport with your coach, but it works on building rapport with anyone.
#5 – I can’t change
You know that something has to change but
tried and you just can’t change in the way you are “supposed” to. It’s just how you are wired.
Had your parents sent you to a better school, you would have had the same breaks and chance as the others.
And climbing the ladder of success would be easy of you had the talent, but it’s too late for that.
If you believe that you are hard-wired and things really cannot change, you could do with an understanding of neuro-genesis and neuro-plasticity. You might even be surprised by yourself.
But it’s OK, I fully understand and maybe other people will look at you with disdain if you try… and fail…
[/vc_column_text][vc_toggle title=”If you think you can;t change, you really need to read this” open=”false”]You can change.
In fact, you change daily.
You might not want to. But you do.
It's possible that you have been misled that your personality and abilities are fixed.
#4 – I don’t like to talk about it
I’ve always been somewhat shy (I know it shocks people but I am… inside). Being shy and a little withdrawn as a kid I hated talking about some real problems with my parents, or teachers or anyone.
I was always a little concerned about what they would think about me if I told them what’s really going on… inside of me.
Maybe it’s just me, but there are times when I find it very difficult to talk about what’s going on in my head. It feels as though I’m opening myself up to criticism. And God forbid that they discover that I’m not perfect.
So yes, talking about some things is tough. But when your coach cares about you, they don’t judge.
But surely coaching will dig into those psychological issues you secretly suspect may be lurking deep down inside? At times, my clients have felt like I was the Doc in a white coat probing into their minds. On occasion, it’s a little like being on the therapists couch. It can be uncomfortable to open up. Yet you know that when you do, there’s a flood of relief.
Oh, and by the way. All those crazy thoughts and feelings you’re concerned about. We all have them. Just thought that you should know.
Which brings us neatly to number 3.
[/vc_column_text][vc_toggle title=”Perhaps something else would be better for you…” open=”false”]I understand.
Talking about some things is difficult. Especially with a stranger.
But perhaps you should better understand the role of a coach and the roles of others who could be helping you.[/vc_toggle][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][/vc_column][/vc_row][vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]
#3 – Coaches are all about soft, fluffy feelings
If you're still considering coaching at this point, you know some of the discussions you have will be about feelings. Especially those “life coaches”. I mean, what's life got to do with work? Work is business. It's not personal. Coaching should focus only on improving performance at work. First-up. Feelings are the tangible experiences you have in your body that are the result of neuro-chemicals being produced in your brain, which are triggered by your thinking. By discussing feelings, a good coach (at least one that understands how the human brain works) can track back to your thinking. Change your thinking and you change feelings. Second. Your entire life matters. Consider, for example, how you perform at work when you haven't eaten. Do you get grouchy and snap at people? Or when your partner and you had an argument. What do you spend your day thinking about whilst you are at work? Or you get to a certain age, and find that there's something missing in your life? You're not sure what, but there's something not there. Talking about feelings doesn't have to be sentimental. And guys, it's not a weakness… it's a strength to be able to talk about feelings.
[/vc_column_text][vc_toggle title=”And some are about driving your performance… hard” open=”false”]It's true that a lot of coaches these days are a little “fluffy”.
There's people who thing that “The Secret” is the answer to everything (It's not by the way!)
Many “Life-coaches” fall into the category of being a little “fluffy”.
So choose the sort of coach who you want to work with.
There's a great little Style Indicator Assessment you can use here to help you know which is best for you.[/vc_toggle][vc_column_text]
#2 – If people know I'm being coached, they'll think I'm weak
My Uncle Alan was a stern ex-army Captain. A disciplinarian and no-holds-barred type of man. He loved me deeply and gave me some of the best advice ever and set me free. He told me that “Most people don't care about what you're getting up to, what you're thinking”. “You know why?” he asked me. I shook my dumb young head. “Because whilst you're thinking about what they are thinking about you. They are spending their entire time thinking about what you are thinking about them.” Yeah. You might need to re-read that a few times. Uncle Alan continued “But the people who do care about you. The people who love you. Well they do care what's going on inside. Not to judge, but to help if they can.” So, for those people that per-chance do care about you sufficiently to think about you at all, they won't be thinking that you're weak. They'll be admiring you for being braver than them. But then, if your boss sponsors your coaching, won't that suggest that your boss thinks you're weak? It might. But then it also might suggest that your boss thinks that you're great and could be even better. And finally, to the number one reason you do not need coaching… time.[/vc_column_text][vc_toggle title=”Tall Poppy Syndrome and the Story of the Madras Crab” open=”false”]In part, you;re wrong.
Very very few people are thinking about you. Except to be thinking about what you think about them.
However, there are people whose mission in life seems to be to pull others down. To stop you, by fear and other tactics, to prevent you from “over-reaching”. And God forbid that you do better than them.
Best advice is to ignore them.
But read this chapter on “Tall Poppy Syndrome”.[/vc_toggle][/vc_column][/vc_row][vc_row][vc_column width=”1/1″][vc_column_text]
#1 – I’m too busy
You already have too many demands on your time. And good coaching requires you to spend more time than just the weekly or monthly hour with your coach. If you really want to improve and achieve success, you’ll have to work on it beyond that hour or three. And who has time for that?
You may have just started a new job, and you’re spending more than enough time learning the ropes, scrambling around the organizational politics, meeting new people and doing a job you’re not actually experienced in (you know that your resume said you were, but you also know the truth).
Or maybe you’re looking for a job right now, and a career coach is only going to slow you down.
Or perhaps you’ve just started a new venture. And as if starting a business wasn’t time-consuming enough without making time for personal development as well.
Or you have a young baby. Or your kids need more time now that exams are approaching. Or your partner is demanding that you spend more time with them.
There are a hundred things and people vying for your attention. You;re already stressed and a little overwhelmed. Coaching isn’t the answer. You want someone who’s going to fix your problems for you, and quickly.
We all have just 24 hours a day. 168 a week. The only space left is to sleep less. But sleeping less isn’t good for you.
Let’s say you get a decent 7 hours sleep a night. You work an average 9 hour day. You take just an hour to get to work each day. That’s 153 hours this week already. Leaving a measly 15 hours for eating, TV, kids time, and that thing we call “life”. And your coach wants 4 or 5 of those??? You’re kidding right?
Lack of time is the number one real enemy of you taking on coaching. Sure. many coaches will tell you that you can do this in just one hour per week. And they are not lying. But that’s why they take a year to get you anywhere.
Personal change and development takes time. Your brain can, and does re-wire. New habits can be formed. Beliefs that limit you take time to be overcome.
There are no silver-bullets, no quick and easy solutions. It will not happen overnight.
[/vc_column_text][vc_toggle title=”How busy do you need to be before you realise you need to change?” open=”false”]Yes you are.
And you will continue to be busy.
In fact, as you become more successful, you'll get even busier.
Establish clear metrics and work out if your time is going to give you a Return on Investment.[/vc_toggle][/vc_column][/vc_row][vc_row][vc_column width=”1/1″][vc_column_text]
You still here?
So either the above reasons haven’t put you off coaching, or none of these has sent you scurrying off to another website already, or maybe you’re waiting for the sales pitch?
OK. No pitch. If you want coaching and you want to talk to me about it, you’ll do so anyway.
But maybe you still aren’t sure.
Well, I did write a book to help you. But you don’t even have to buy the book (you are very welcome to of course and you can find it here and Id appreciate it if you did).
I am offering you a gift to access the first part of my book for free. Part One is all about helping you make a good decision about coaching and who to work with of you do.
And all you have to do is follow the links in the drop-down boxes under each of the reasons.
Or, look to the right sidebar… there's a menu there.
Share this page on Facebook or Twitter and you’ll be redirected to the right place. Or,
If you don’t do Facebook or Twitter, you can sign-up and receive the series of chapters I am sharing by email.
You can do both too.
No. I’m not handing out Parts 2 and 3 of the book. If you are sufficiently interested by the end of Part One, you’ll happily fork out the $15 for the rest.